Thursday, February 28, 2008

Knott's Berry Farm
Company Picnic
8039 Beach Blvd
Buena Park, CA

Another day, another catch up post. I'm getting used to this, gaining momentum...hopefully I'll be able to post about things that happened a lot more recently soon. But for now, let's look at some GROSS things I ate last July...namely, food that I'm sure came from a bin and heated up and fed to the masses. I'm talking about COMPANY PICNIC FOOD!!! Awww yeah!

We were invited to go to a Company picnic that took place at Knotts Berry Farm. I hadn't been to a company picnic in ages (the last one I remember was when I was a kid, for my dad's old company), and even further in my memory was a picnic that took place at an amusement park.

So Knotts. Oh how I hate you. Their parking situation is horrible, all the people clamoring to get there blocks up all the streets and heaven forbid Knotts invest in SIGNAGE to tell people where to go. So after a few hair pulling mishaps, we parked in a far away parking lot, opting to walk the perimeter of Knotts than to brave the streets again. So this is the kind of mood we were in, going into the picnic grounds. And sooo...we wait in the food find....THIS.

OMG! "Burger" patties that have never even touched a grill, yet, have grill marks! I love that these are swimming in a warm pool of disgusting meat juices. This makes me feel like I'm back in elementary school, chowing on something that I'm SURE was made and formed in the 50's, and reheated for human consumption (prison, public school, whatever!) Oh yes. I ate one. I'm not happy, or proud about it. I'm probably still digesting parts of it today. With THAT in mind...
...let's move on to Knott's Berry Farm's "famous" fried chicken. Or, should I say in this state, frozen, then fried, then steamed in this container so by the time it reaches your mouth, it's a mushy gloppy mess that makes the insides of your mouth feel like a caterpillar. I admit, I've had Knotts fried chicken before (long ago, at the beginning of my stay in Los Angeles) and it isn't bad, so the complaints mainly stem from the fact that the chicken is served in this container that steams everything to keep it warm. Still destroys any kind of good chicken though.
Now what could this be....more unidentifiable BINS of stuff...they might as well be pig troughs. Upon closer study...
(tilt your head sideways, everyone...still have an issue with rotation of pictures on here)...oh, look, it's BEANS. And not just any beans, too! I think the crust of one half of the beans is in a war with the other half of the not as crusty beans...forming a BEANMONSTER of EPIC PROPORTIONS.

This is the saddest thing of all - if anyone knows me, they know that I love fake nacho cheese. I can't say I know why, but I will almost always order it if a place offers it. But...look what this nacho cheese has become - a tectonic plate of a crusty, old nacho cheese river. I can't even bear it. Poor nacho cheese.
Here's the cold food got your mayo laden stuff....your other mayo laden stuff...this meal is straight from the 50's! The watermelon slices in the far distance at least tell me that there was an effort for health. I think the slice that I had was..ok..but not very sweet.
Nothing horrifies me more than corn that has been steamed so long that it wants to commit corn suicide.
And here's a plate of all this stuff, as nice as you can display it. It almost looks edible! Almost...
And finally, to wash it all down - here are slices of their "famous" boysenberry pie. I don't think this pie deserves the acclaim...the crust was too heavy and dense, the boysenberries too tart and mushy. Disappointment city. Probably could have been vastly improved if ice cream was around.

Well Knotts, thanks for disappointing me again. I was sorely disappointed when I went to Knotts Scary farm a few years back, and I was willing to give them a chance again for this...but again, failure. At least they're consistent. Oh, the highlight though was the company I was keeping. You guys rule! This food didn't!

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